Prior to retiring my co-worker for nine years was one of my sisters. It made for interesting and sometimes frustrating work days for both of us because we are definitely two different personality types.
Sister #4 is direct and to the point. She doesn’t waste time or energy on anything she has no control over. If you piss her off you will know it immediately but once she’s said her piece it’s over. She has a wicked sense of humor and an exceptionally quick wit. I speak from first hand experience about her wicked sense of humor.
This is a story I shared a couple of years ago and thought I’d share again, especially since I figured enough time had passed that I could get even for what she did to me.
What she did to me: “I stopped at the Dandy on my way to work and saw they had a new scratch off lottery ticket so I picked up one for you” Sis says while handing me the lottery ticket and a banana.
“Well thank you” I tell her as I get out the two winning scratch off tickets I had picked up the night before. I won a whopping $9.00 which is big for me because I don’t usually win anything.
I think she was able to get me because of the banana. I mean when someone is thoughtful enough to bring you a scratch off lottery ticket and a banana why would you expect them to pull a mean trick on you.
“Well good, maybe you’ll be lucky on the one I got for you too” my loving sister tells me.
I set her ticket aside on my desk and started working on some files. Sis takes my winning tickets to look for numbers and letters because, according to her, that usually tells you the value of your winning prize.
“Aren’t you going to scratch off your numbers” Sis casually asks.
That should have sent off warning bells but like I said, I’m gullible, so I reached for the ticket she gave me.
Reading the front of her so thoughtful ticket it said to match three of the same dollar amounts and you win that amount. Starting at the first spot, I scratch and reveal a $10,000 winner. I scratch the second spot and it’s a $5,000 winner. The third spot revealed another $10,000 winner.
At this point my excitement is rising and I’m bouncing a bit in my seat. The fourth spot was a $100.00 winner, the fifth spot was a $1,000 winner and the last spot revealed a $10,000 winner.
Hot damn, I matched three $10,000 prizes.
I’m stunned and then my heart starts pounding and my hands are beginning to shake. I stare at the ticket not believing I matched the $10,000 three times. I keep counting to make sure that there are really three $10,000 symbols showing and I’m not seeing things. At this point I’m now rocking back and forth in my chair while muttering something like “oh my god” over and over.
“We won $10,000” I tell my co-worker/sister. My voice is trembling and my eyes are filling with tears of joy. Again, I should have picked up on her lack of enthusiasm but I was too enraptured by the thought of winning $10,000.
Evidently my face got very red as a result of my absolute joy about winning because Sis quietly tells me to read the back of the ticket. I turn it over and see the usual spot where you fill in your name and address, blah, blah, blah.
“Read the small print” she tells me.
So I glance at the back of the ticket again. “Yeah, I’ll put both our names down when I fill it out” I tell her, a huge grin plastered on my face.
“No”, she says, “You need to read the small print”.
I hand the ticket back to her. I’m simply too excited about winning $10,000 to worry about little details like fine print. I don’t care what it says, let me sign our names and collect our winnings….$10,000.
I was going to share my winnings with her.
She starts reading the fine print to me but I’m only listening with half an ear. All I’m thinking is I WON $10,000.
When she reads the part about claiming more than $100.00 you have to go to Fairy Dust Lane, I ask her to repeat that and she finally cracks up laughing. Mind you, she never cracked a smile as I was getting more and more excited while scratching off my ticket.
It finally sinks in what she did and to say I was not amused is putting it mildly. I wanted to share with her alright but what I wanted to share at that point wasn’t a good idea because of that workplace violence issue.
She did admit later, when I had cooled off a bit, that she felt bad when she saw the excitement in my face. To admit to feeling bad for the prank she pulled on me was unusual for her. I mean she never expressed any remorse over the time she fed Sister #3 a dog shit cookie.
My imaginative vocabulary has made my husband blush on the very rare occasions something upset me and I expressed it verbally. I won’t repeat what I said to her.
Eventually, however, I saw the humor in what she did. It took me a while, and though I felt my dashed hopes blowing away like dust in the wind I could see and appreciate the humor in what she did.
I didn’t forget, I simply filed it away waiting for my opportunity to get even.
However, being the sisters that we are, we decided to prank someone else and crush their dreams of being a big lottery winner. I mean misery does love company after all.
I “dropped” the ticket on the floor by the employee entrance making sure the winning dollar amounts were facing up. Someone did pick up the ticket but who ever it was never said anything to anyone.
I hope they read the small print on the back before trying to claim their prize.
Present day payback time: Sister #4 celebrated her 60th birthday at the end of March. I picked out a sentimental card with heartfelt words expressing how much she means to me and the joy I feel in having her as a sister. I purchased several scratch off lottery tickets to place in her card. I also included one fake lottery ticket figuring she’d be so busy scratching tickets she wouldn’t notice.
She called to thank me for my gift and said she’d probably be busy until August scratching off all the lottery tickets she’d been given for her birthday.
“I hope you have some really good winners” I told her.
Now, picture the smile on the Grinch’s face when he realizes he’s going to ruin Whoville’s Christmas. That was me as I gleefully thought about getting back at her for what she did to me a few years ago.
I received a telephone call from her a week or two later. “Nice try”, she tells me, “I spotted your fake ticket right away”.
I should have known better.
She doesn’t have a gullible bone in her body, a slightly twisted sense of humor, yep, but definitely not gullible.
No problem though…..patience is my middle name.
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